Nostalgia
by MaroonAngel of Darkness
Summary: Feelings and memories of what was, the blissful moments in life that they used to have and the longing to have them again.


Kairi stared at the flames, almost hypnotized it seems as she watched them flare brightly and vividly. Seeing all the colors swirl and faze into one and then melt back between white and orange. Sometimes even the occasional blue would flare up and wave, catching her eyes till it disappeared into the mass of colors that danced around each other.

She jumped when it suddenly flared, a log tossed carelessly and angrily onto it; and successfully breaking her trance. Near her, but still not close, a towering man huffed, practically slouching beside her and glaring darkly into the fire; his molten jade eyes flaring as brightly as the flames before them. Uneasily, she glanced up at him, warily taking in his angry posture and expression, how tense he was.

Slowly, she turned her blue eyes away, trying to fall back under the fire's spell while tightly wrapping her arms around herself as a way to keep warm and secure herself. It was hard though. The fire reacted to him, rising and dimming with his breath. Each time he sucked in; they rose and Kairi could feel the embers in the air, brushing against her her skin, and when they dimmed with his sigh, she suddenly felt colder as the heat drew away.

Grimacing slightly with the constant change in temperature, Kairi with held a sigh that could cause trouble, fairly torn with herself at this moment. It was nice being out of the cell for once; but she wasn't sure if she really wanted to be out here at this moment. Her current jailer seemed to be in a dark mood at the moment. He could lash out at her or just sulk and glare at the fire.

She didn't know why she had to be here when he was like this, if anything, she found it to be one of the oddest situation she's ever been in with a Nobody.

He came out of nowhere as they always do, instead of speaking though, he just grabbed her and pulled her into the darkness that surrounded him and the next thing she knew, she was here at a beach, dropped before a fire and sitting the rest of the evening away while he seethed in his spot.

She really didn't know why she had to be here when he was like this, angry and agitated; but she wasn't going to complain. She was away from the never ending white. She was finally seeing other colors and hearing a soothing and familiar sound. Past the cackle and hiss of the fire and her jailer's deep breathing, she could hear the ocean hissing over the sand in a steady, soft lull.

Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to feel the flickering heat and listen to the hum of the waves; for a moment, it was like she was back on Destiny Island, napping under the sun on the beach.

She'd give anything to be there; that being taken away by the Nobodies was just a nightmare that she could shudder about in the morning then brush off.

"Don't fall asleep," her jailer's voice growled, agitation dripping from his words.

But it wasn't a nightmare. It was real.

Still withholding the urge to sigh, Kairi's eyes slid open, turning her blue orbs up to meet his glaring green. "I'm not asleep," she said, wondering if responding was really best thing to do at the moment.

His eyes narrowed at her before he turned away to glare at the flames.

She almost relaxed then, so sure that he would spend the rest of the night here ignoring her and sulking away in his own world.

"Doesn't this place make you happy?" he asked her, the sudden question making her jump.

She looked up at him, silently debating with herself. Should she respond? Was it rhetorical? Sometimes it was hard to tell with Nobodies... well, with the ones she met anyway; which were about two. Him and the guy with an x on his face. They were both frustratingly unpredictable and bipolar.

X face could be cold and calm one moment, the next, he has her slamming against the wall, snarling at something she said or didn't say.

The one next to her, the pyro with the lion's mane, could be just as bad. Though he never physically hurt her, he'd snarl at her with wounding words or just glare then disappear into the darkness that they always travel through. Half the time, she didn't know what to say around them.

Licking her lips, she finally said, braving the the possibilities of this conversation. "It does... but its more like nostalgia," she admitted, "its not Destiny Island, but this is pretty close with the beach and the fire."

"Nostalgia," he repeated forlornly, saying the word like it was alien to him. Despite the oddness of him saying it, she was sure that he and the rest of the Nobodies were quite familiar with such a feeling.

They all longed for a heart.

Kairi rested her chin on her knees, staring out at the now calm flames, flickering casually and allowing herself to fall under their spell once again, her mind drifting carelessly around two topics.

Nobodies and Heartless.

Which would be worse to become?

One keeps their conscious but looses emotions and longs to have them back; the other is a mindless creature that seeks the warm hearts that it doesn't have.

Maybe they weren't so different; both had an unnerving attraction to getting a hold of her...

"Hey."

Kairi blinked, her trance broken against by the sound of the pyro's voice.

"Tell me," he said simply, his eyes glued to the flames.

"Tell you?" she asked.

"You're nostalgia," he cleared, "tell me the memories, tell me what makes this place happy."

Oh. It dawned her then. Nodding slowly, Kairi curled up into a tighter ball, shuddering as a wandering breeze brushed by her. Unsteadily, she said, "I woke up on Destiny's beach."

"Woke up?" he asked.

"Yep, I woke up on the beach. It was the first thing I knew and remembered. The sun above, the warm sand below, and the cool brush of water that came to me in gentle waves." Her eyes faded as she lost herself in the colors of the fire, her mind going back through the memories she did have, her voice distant as she murmured on, not caring if he was listening or not.

"It was like a dream. I didn't know anything besides those details. That I was on a beach. There was no one around, only me on the beach. I couldn't remember anything and I didn't want to. Even when I tried, nothing came." She breathed in, and released with a dragging sigh. "On that beach, I didn't know anything, and for a while, I didn't care about anything. Only the peace to be found there."

"So you have no memories?" he voiced.

She shook her head. "Not of the first six years of my life. The only hint I have is a necklace I've always had. I wonder if it came from my mother... anyway, eventually, I was found. Doctors could only declare that I drifted in since I wasn't a residence and did have amnesia. That was the only thing people knew about me."

"How does a beach bring you nostalgia then?" he grumbled. She almost laughed at herself, realizing that she went off topic.

"Sorry," she giggled sheepishly. "But, to answer it, the beach was my new beginning. Even if I didn't know who I was before, on that beach, when I woke, I could be whoever I wanted to be. Its my symbol of a fresh start; plus, Sora, Riku and I had a lot of fun on that beach, its also where we all met. They were the ones that found me. And they've been my friends since. We even had our own secret hideout at the beach," she chuckled fondly, smiling brightly at the memories.

He hummed in response, lost in the flames just as she was. She was thankful to find that he was more relaxed now, he eyes a little droopy as he stared at the fire, his body limp and eased.

For a moment, she started to think he was going to fall asleep. If he did, she could take the chance to escape...

"Bits and pieces," he said suddenly.

"Huh?"

"That's what Nobodies can remember. Bits and pieces of who we used to be. Fragments if anything. I remember Saix," a grim smile spread over his face, "we used to be close friends, best friends even, I'm sure of that. I remember this odd blonde kid and he looks so similar to Roxas... I remember a castle that was big and white like the one we live in now, and it had familiar faces too, faces that I now live with." He laughed suddenly, making her jump as he rocked back and forth. "I remember Saix and I were always dying to see what was inside that castle, always coming up with schemes that could help us get in..."

"Did they ever work?" Kairi found herself asked.

"No," he chuckled, "I don't think they ever did."

He paused then, turning his green eyes towards her, roaming them over her, taking in details as he narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her. "You can't remember anything?" he asked her.

"No."

He hummed to himself curiously. "The place I used to live in," he murmured, "I can't remember its name, but I remember that it was pretty, and there were flowers and a girl that always lurked around the flowers." He stared into her eyes, searching her like there was an answer in her sapphire orbs. "You look a lot like her," he said finally.

Kairi stiffened at that, her eyes going wide as she stared at him. He thought that they might have known each other before? She opened her mouth, to argue and deny such a chance, only to close it just as quickly.

She really didn't remember much from her past before she was six. Despite how crazy it sounded to her; there was a chance that they've might have known each other or seen each other...

Kairi shook her head, hiding her face in her arms, muttering, "No."

She felt his eyes on her, sweeping over her like a cat would a mouse before his gaze finally moved away with a dark, "Whatever."

Even with the dark note in his voice, Kairi didn't uncurl form her ball, even when he lightly poked her side. She heard him sigh and suddenly, the air was warmer, chasing away any of the chills that hovered around them, encasing them in an assuring bubble of warmth. Slowly, the warmth seeped into her body, relaxing her slightly and gently pulling her out of her curl. She peeked over at him, finding that his eyes were closed and he was leaning against his hand.

He wasn't asleep. She could tell. If he was, she guessed the fire would go out.

And she'd be too lucky if he actually fell asleep out here without bringing the darkness here to take them home. That seemed a too much to hope for.

But with him turned away, Kairi relaxed, falling under the fire's spell once again, listening to the lull of the ocean whispering past the hiss of the fire. Gradually, her eyes grew heavier and heavier till they slid shut and she was lost to the world, content with the heat and warmth that encircled her.

For hours it seems, he sat like that, basking in the heat, listening to the waves and trying to find a similar idea to what she was talking about. It was relaxing, listening to the waves and feeling the heat of the fire. He always felt comfortable around fire after all. It was the one element that seemed to always stick with him.

He jumped when he felt something lean heavily against him, his wide green eyes staring down at the top of a copper head, gawking as it clicked in his head that she fell asleep and was leaning against him. Raising a brow down at her, he shook his head baffled at this.

He was the assassin of the Nobodies, not a pillow...

Still, he didn't find the will to move her, and found he wasn't minding as much. It was warm where her body slouched against his, warmer than any fire could give. And like the pyro that he is, he relished the heat. Consciously or not, he didn't know, but his arm lazily wound around her, securing her there as her soft easy breathing was heard below his ear, a soothing sound, just as soothing as the heat that came from her body.

Distantly, it felt familiar. A smaller body leaning against his, scented heavily with flowers and earth, with bright blue eyes that peered up at him, so sure that there was nothing wrong with the world.

His arm twitched, slightly pulling her closer to him as he grimaced. The memory was there, he knew it was, it was inches away but it kept sliding away.

There was anger at Saix, or whatever his name was at the time. And then there were flowers, flowers everywhere with a little girl with copper hair in the middle of them, staring up at him curiously. The anger faded and replaced with curiosity as the girl smiled bright at him and waved, a gleaming blue stone hung from her neck he noticed.

He had said something, but his voice was muffled in his mind as was hers. The last he could managed to grasp was the sight of her jogging up to him before that memory faded completely; leaving him frustrated.

Closing his eyes, he focused on the sound of her breathing and the feel of her body pressed against his. He didn't know why, but he could never be angry around her, at least not for long. Something about her presence was soothing and calming, chasing away the shadows filled his head and replacing it with warmth. It was because of that that he made the impulsive move to snag her and drag her out here.

He was sure he felt something like this before, in that memory that keeps haunting him since the day he met her and tried whisking her away.

Sighing and shaking his head, making him mane shudder and sweep with the motions, Axel relaxed back, listening to the sounds of the fire, the ocean in the background, and the quiet, eased breathing next to him and the warmth that surrounded him; any of his earlier frustration was long gone.

He glanced up at the sky, noting that they should head back soon...

...Maybe in another couple of hours though, they were both tired and comfortable. And what's a small camp out on a beach?

* * *

**felt like writing Axel and Kairi, especially since its been a while.  
**

**now in this, there's one thing i wish they focused on in KH and that'd be kairi having an interest in her past and learning about it besides ending up getting left behind all the time. **

**also, i'd be curious to see how interaction would go if she met someone else from radiant garden that she knew and they her and see if they remember each other; or at least, the other person, Kairi might not be able to remember X) **


End file.
